Got Screwed? Plans of Sweet Revenge Can be Healthy

by: Jay Dezelic

Having the power and means to lash back at someone who has done you wrong is an empathetically healthy and thing. Getting taken advantage of can leave one feeling intimidated, hopeless and beaten. - Leading to depression and withdrawn from life. I know, I have been there. There is no better teacher than personal experience. It is true that revenge can be sweetest when served cold. - After all the gloating is done and when your opponent is least expecting it.

In the aftermath of your ordeal, time is usually on your side. This is a good time to sit back and evaluate what you went through and determine if you are ready to forgive and forget or if there would be some benefit to seeking revenge. Give yourself some time to cool off so that you can make rational decisions. Always consider that planning revenge can be costly in terms of lost time or other resources (Time you would otherwise spend moving forward in your life). Revenge can also be risky if you are dealing with someone who may cause you additional pain if they were to learn of your planning efforts.

On the positive side, revenge can give you the satisfaction of regaining your freedom and restoring your self-confidence. It could be a short cut on the road to recovery from your ordeal. It is human nature. Most people generally feel better when "they even the score"- at least in the short term. I think it has a lot to do with resisting suppression and control. The human spirit is borne to be free. When an aggressor takes advantage of someone, it usually means that they are exerting excessive control and surprising the values of their opponent. I use the word "opponent" because I believe that all people have equal and fundamental rights. - And that no one has self-appointed rights over anyone else.

With that said, you have weighed the facts and your feelings. You have determined that the value and satisfaction of gaining back control out-weight the costs and risks. There are tow parts to revenge: Planning, and execution of the plan. Planning by itself can bring most if not all the satisfaction you need. Knowing that you no longer have to capitulate to your opponent can give you a sense of power and freedom. On a large scale, consider the Cold War: decades of intricate plans were laid for hypothetical retaliation. - To the ridiculous point of having so many means of exacting revenge, that the entire human race could have been obliterated seven times over. The rationalized objectives according to the generals were that of deterrence. Without showing the means to seek revenge, it was felt that each side would be in grave danger from each other. That's why house cats keep their claws sharp. Revenge is a form of self-preservation and protection.

Don't Break the Law.

You should always keep in mind that there are social and moral laws about seeking revenge. If you sit and think about things, you can usually think of many ways to get back at someone without breaking the law. There are a lot of places on the Internet to find ideas on revenge. - Just enter the keywords revenge or pranks in your favorite search engine. Sometimes the best revenge is publicity. You usually can't get in legal trouble if you expose the truth. (Slander is only when you make something up).

Be Covet

Don't discuss your plans with others. Just make your plans privately and keep no records. Hopefully, the process of making the plans in your mind will give you enough satisfaction to move on with your life knowing what you could have done (but didn't).

Avoid Collateral Damage

Your revenge should only be directed against the person who intentionally took advantage of you. - Not to their families, friends or dependants. The worst thing about revenge is that it can easily escalate. Sometimes it is almost impossible to separate your target from potential collateral damage. That's why it is an entirely different subject when you go to execute your plan for revenge. You don't want to end up like the Hatfield's and McCoy's - (The legendary Wild West gun slinging families who had it out at the OK Corral in Tombstone Arizona back in the 1800's.)

Another thing to consider: Usually a "leopard doesn't change its spots". The person, who took advantage of you, will probably continue their destructive pattern of aggression. Often it is only a matter of time and someone else will seek his or her own revenge without you having to do anything. Don't let revenge consume you. Just enough is sweet. Too much can be very bitter.